An Open Letter To Derek Dooley

I remember it like it was yesterday. A storm had just postponed the game, so my debut was delayed, but running onto that field was like nothing I had ever been through before. The air was filled with optimism and our beloved Vols destroyed the Montana Grizzles. More importantly, I had found a place in the heart of Volunteer fans everywhere.

Now my time as the best looking pair of pants strutting the field on Saturdays is over. While no one wanted it to end the way it did, I think we all can agree I was the brightest spot on the team. Countless mentions from sports commentators around the country, a flash mob in my honor, heck even a Tom Rinaldi special on College Gameday earlier this year. I will cherish each of them dearly.

I just wanted to thank Vol Nation for your undying support of me throughout Derek Dooley’s career here at Tennessee and to now urge you to support this team that has battled back from adversity several times this year, my former owner Derek Dooley who laid a solid foundation for which Butch Jones can build upon, and my new owner, Butch Jones, who took the job after we went to fantasy land with Gruden and then got out bid by a pizza delivery company for our number 3 guy Charlie Strong. Jones may not be the first choice, but he is the right choice for this university.

Every great marriage has a set up man. You know, the guy who is the last guy to date the girl before she dates and eventually marries the next guy. Derek Dooley has been nothing but an incredible set up man. Butch Jones will now have the tools that Dooley and Kiffin didn’t have upon arrival to compete for a championship immediately because Dooley put in the work that Kiffin was too busy out piping sorority girls and breaking NCAA rules to do.

Thank you Derek Dooley, for doing what no one else wanted to do, for your hilarious Monday pressers, for your efforts to upgrade the football facilities, for that amazing unwavering hair, and most of all for introducing my former persona, @Dooleys_Pants, into the Vol Family. Whether people want to admit it or not, they feel the same way. We love you, and honestly in the long run, it’s not you, it’s us. Good luck in your future endeavors and know that you have our full support in those endeavors and that we will follow you on Twitter so long as you keep it funny. The first tweet I see about some loophole in the judiciary system and I’ll hit the unfollow button so fast it will be like you are playing Nick Saban again.

I love you, it’s just I love the next guy more now.

Sincerely

The haircut that was formerly your pants.

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